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December 30 chrisR.I.P.
Chris Johnston
1990 - 2005,
9am December 26th
We All Dream Of Being 16,
But Some Of Us Never Get There.
You'll be dearly missed
and Never Forgotten.
Im Glad To Have Known You
I hope your happy bud.
<333 December 09 the secret of lifefor english today we had to memorize a sonnet from Romeo and Juliet. I have never done anything so pointless in my life. actually.. thats probably a lie. being that im almost 16, i have done tons of pointless things. typing on the computer for instance. what have i to gain from this enthraling experience? nothing i say, absolutely nothing.
Its no secret that humans are mammals. Pretty much the only goal in a mammals life is to mate, and make more mammals. But, if the mammal got AIDS and it, its mate and its offspring all died then what the hell was the point in it mating in the first place? What do elephants use for protection against STD's?
December 03 movie nightI watched war of the worlds last night. No movie has ever scared me that much. It scares me shitless! I couldnt sleep after I watched it! Im never watching it alone ever ever again.
.............. good movie tho. November 30 wednesday?Im sick. Im not just "cough cough" sick either, im sick. I had a fever last night that made my face feel like it was on fire, i thought i was dying. I made my mom call 9-1-1, and then my dad drove me to the hospital.
I really dont like hospitals. People die in hospitals. Babies die in hospitals, mothers cry in hospitals. Old people are made well and younge people are told that they are terminally ill. Gods sick and twisted game made into a dirty heap of blood-smothered laundry and left in the washroom reserved for emergency patients. The one that Judy from down the street shit in when she went to the hospital, expecting that she only had a flue that had gotten out of hand, but then she had to sit in a lazy-boy recliner in an office and be told that she had leukemia or malaria, or some other illness that would lead to her already shortened life ending sometime in the next 3 years. Thats why i dont like hospitals.
actually i dont care.
November 26 saturdayim a bitch. i dont know why, but its all my fault. the world makes me angry. air makes me angry. the smallest things frustrate me to an intolerable degree. maybe its because i enjoy having wars with life, or maybe im just p.m.s.ing.
I have yet to find the person who would write "I love you Tash." in the clouds. The person who would want to be with me no matter what, and who i would see for more than a whole 4 weeks out of the year.
Growing up scares the shit out of me. I only have a month and a bit until Im 16. Then depending on how much money i have saved until then, I will be out of the house and doing things for myself. I want out of the house, but sadly, i only have 47 cents in my piggy-bank. Im still really just a baby, a baby that is scared shitless about moving to a new province to live on her own. But im looking forward to it.
November 24 quotes from the best book ever"Sometimes I just want to hold him until the world goes away. Until there is no more pain and no more people to hurt him. Sometimes my fantasies are grotesque because they are never fulfilled."
"Today at Opal Creek I
Nearly died and I wanted
to touch you I've got
A bloody scrape on
my elbow and neumerous
cuts and bruises
all over my arms and legs
i feel great i tell you
great The throbbing
headache only adds to the
pleasure i swam in real water
and slid down a waterfall
We ate veggie
burgers i almost
threw up i try to tell myself
i'd rather be here
than home i try to tell
myself id rather be here
than in your arms I
am a liar.
I hold the
refrigerator door open with
my right hand
my left hand
on my cock
ed hip
He gently places
his chin on my
shoulder and whispers
"orange juice please."
Have you ever had one of those dreams where something happens and you feel so strongly about it, but the person doesnt look like how they are supposed to look?
I am living this dream.
I am staring at his face and touching his lips and looking at his arms and hugging his body and wondering and wondering and not knowing when i am going to wake up and if this person exists and i am loving this and i am wanting this and i am needing this but this is not the right person the dream is not perfect and i have not found my answer i am the mathematician with the theoretical solutions and this dream that i am living and the person does not look right."""
the following is not a passage from the book i am reading:
what i wrote above, that is how i felt when i was with you. it was all a dream, a messy dream. blurred, nothing was real, nothing was sane, my wishes were comming true and now that i look back on it i cant remember the small details. i can remember where we went and what we did but i cannot remember what was said, how it smelt, what the weather was like and if my shoes were tied. I cant remember how i felt, i cant remember how you look and if i do then the picture is only in my mind for a milisecond and then its gone. like lightening. or quick moving slides.
when you have a really great dream and while you are dreaming you think "wow. im really going to want to remember this," but then when you wake up you can only remember that there was something about a train and a pot of gold but you cant remember what happened. and you cant remember that you had a bet with the train driver for a pot of gold before you turned into a donkey. being with you is like having a wonderful dream, leaving you is like waking up and not being able to remember.
your my shoe laces. without you im unwoven. im fraying, and if i try to move, i trip. You hold me together, you keep me in one piece. you keep me sane.
I worry that im forgetting about you. The way you talk, tell me things, hold my hand, let it go. Im worried that im no longer the girl who left you. I may have changed in some way, some tiny way that will make you not care for me anymore.
When I'm With You I Feel Fucking Amazing.
You Make My World Sing.
Im Indestructible.
Your Still My Superman.
November 19 hey there againwowsa. its been quite a while since i was writing on here every single day. but whatever, i think ive actually gotten a life. actually... no, i havent. but i might have. muahaha.
anyways. i thought i would post my most recent poem on here, because its about time that i did so. Yellow pencil
Grasped in my fingers straining so hard to think thoughts of shattered glitter lost to the wind Everlasting force Burning my desires what is this feeling of complete nothingness have i forgotten? -- written by Tash Clark on friday, Nov. 17 2005. at 10:07 am. in Math class. August 19 a new song...about tad poles :Dlittle tad pole in a pool
little tad pole you look cool.
little tad pole in a bucket
little tad pole we'll fly now to namtucket
little tad pole im too tired
little tad pole im also wired
little tad pole between my toes
little tad pole i found your nose
little tad pole im poking you,
little tad pole your in your own spew
little tad pole now your dead,
little tad pole i squished your head.
by tash August 14 spectrumGreen, pink, yellow, blue.
the days i dont remember you,
bright and cheerful days go fast,
happy thoughts that seem to last.
Grey, Black, Purple, Red.
Some days i cant get out of bed.
my head hurts and my stomach aches,
or is it just my heart that breaks. its a dive i made up while swimming in my poolit is the dive of:
The quail in a jail,
beneath a pail,
holding a nail,
while being hit by hail,
because the pail is on top of the jail,
the jail which is holding the quail,
the quail which is a flail,
because its tail is being hit by hail.
say that 30 times fast and you will get a migrane. August 03 inside summer time jokes from tash and karla- testies bird wants your privit parts!
- chestnut truck!!!
*hey man, why's there a dent in your new truck?*
*yo homie, i was drivin and these fuckin wiggers came up and started hitting it with a bat n shit yo.*
*dude, that REALLY happened to your truck?*
*Some fucking twelve year old girl hit it with a chestnut*
- *TEE HEE, im so stealthy*
- Rachelle only $3.99 a minute. ;)
- im storking accross the room, dont look! *karla looks* Adrien... Tash is walking across the bedroom butt naked!!
- Tash: there was a little spider hanging from a string near my head this morning while i was laying in bed and it was probably thinking *tee hee! im so stealthy!* and then i squished it.
- * Tash gets out of the shower, buts on only underpants* Tash: "Karla... look at my tan lines!" *karla just stares* Karla: "uh.. tash.." Tash: "what?!?" *looks down to see un covered chest* Tash: "OH!" *tash storks back into the bathroom*
GLADSTONE IS A MUSH-MUFFIN!!!!
July 18 our inventiontoday adrienne and i invented:
<
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o o
the monkey.
beware its hypnotic singing.
la la la
July 07 the planis that we are going to kill kelly clarkson.
how? banding together and breaking into her mansion. we will steal all the valuables in her house, and then we will kill her. we wont kill any of the security guards or anything, she sucks so they probably hate her just as much as we do. we could kidnap her but i dont think that is necessary. and besides, we dont want her infecting the "kid napping van" with her many unknown pop star skank diseases. I will have to invest in some biohazard suites before hand so that we do not get HIV from the blood spatter. 20 ways to make a girl smile1 . Tell her she isbeautiful not hot, fine or sexy. 2 . Hold her hand at any moment even if it just for a second. 3 . Kiss her on the forehead. 4 . Call her baby 5 . If your in love with her . . . tell her 6 . When she is upset hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. 7 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. 8 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with. 9 . Write her notes. She loves them 10 . Play with her hair. 11 . Remind her how beautiful she is without her make-up on. 12 . Sit in the park and just talk to her. 13 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, just tell her jokes. 14 . If she's mad at you, kiss her. 15 . Give her piggyback rides. 16 . Buy her flowers just because. 17 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone. 18 . Look her in the eyes and smile. 19 . Call her back if she hangs up on you. 20 . Kiss her in the rain. July 06 hehehheKarla and i will become god and we will have a special mechanism to delete things that we dont like. So if you piss us off.... becareful. July 05 cradle of filthHer Ghost in The Fog soft winds whisper the bidding of trees as this tragedy starts with a shattered glass heart and the Midnightmare trampling of dreams But no, no tears please Fear and pain may accompany Death But it is desire that shepherds it's certainty as We shall see..." She was divinity's creature That kissed in cold mirrors A Queen of Snow Far beyond compare Lips attuned to symmetry Sought Her everywhere Dark liqoured eyes An Arabian nightmare... She shone on watercolours Of my pondlife as pearl Until those who couldn't have Her Cut Her free of this World That fateful Eve when... The trees stank of sunset and camphor Their lanterns chased phantoms and threw An imquisitive glance, like the shadows they cast On my love picking rue by the light of the moon Putting reason to flight Or to death as their way They crept through woods mesmerized By the taffeta Ley Of Her hips that held sway Over all they surveyed Save a mist on the rise (A deadly blessing to hide) Her ghost in the fog They raped left... (Five men of God) ...Her ghost in the fog Dawn discovered Her there Beneath the Cedar's stare Silk dress torn, Her raven hair Flown to gown Her beauty bared Was starred with frost, I knew Her lost I wept 'til tears crept back to prayer She'd sworn Me vows in fragrant blood "Never to part Lest jealous Heaven stole our hearts" Then this I screamed: "Come back to Me I was born in love with thee So why should fate stand inbetween?" And as I drowned Her gentle curves With dreams unsaid and final words I espied a gleam trodden to earth The Church bell tower key... The village mourned her by the by For She'd been a witch their Men had longed to try And I broke under Christ seeking guilty signs My tortured soul on ice A Queen of snow Far beyond compare Lips attuned to symmetry Sought Her everywhere Trappistine eyes An Arabian nightmare... She was Ersulie possessed Of a milky white skin My porcelain Yin A graceful Angel of Sin And so for Her... The breeze stank of sunset and camphor My lantern chased Her phantom and blew Their Chapel ablaze and all locked in to a pain Best reserved for judgement that their bible construed... Putting reason to flight Or to flame unashamed I swept form cries Mesmerized By the taffeta Ley Or Her hips that held sway Over all those at bay Save a mist on the rise A final blessing to hide Her ghost in the fog And I embraced Where lovers rot... Her ghost in the fog Her ghost in the fog todayanother horrible day. mom and i got in a fight and werent talking for most of it. i didnt even do anything. i hate it when she explodes in my face and ruins my happy mood. this morning i felt like dancing which is amazing, because i never feel like dancing. i dont know, lately it seems as though im trapped inside my head, i think i need to leave this house. My nightmares are starting to come back, and that isnt a very good thing. oh well, i am going to the doctor next week i think and maybe i will go back on my meds. i hate my meds tho. they make me feel numb, like i cant feel any emotion, not even happiness. i dunno, maybe i will see if things will get better, but i am sick of thinking that they will. god i can just imagine how much my whining is pissing off everyone, because its starting to even piss ME off. heres to another sleepless night. July 01 the big foot theoryWhy People Think There Is No Big Foot
Q: How come noone has found any big foot dropings?
A: They are eaten by birds.
Q: How come there arent very many big foot around?
A: Bog foot breeds once every 150 years.
Q:How come hikers dont see big foot?
A: Because big foot hybernates during the summer and is noocternal
Q: How come they havent found any dead Big foots?
A: they burry their dead.
Q: How come there are no Big Foot tracks?
A: Big Foot doesnt walk, he hovers..... or he has a long tail that swishes away his tracks! (Thanks ¢HìTt¥ßäÑg)
If you have anymore questions which question the existance of big foot, ask me. my theory, please dont diss it, its only a theorythe human race is a virus placed in quaranteen on earth because no other planet will have us because we spread pollution as if it were an STD.
millions of years ago we were beamed down and nobody remembers exactly how because of the shock from the anti-biotics that they used to try and kill us off. June 28 My fan clubso far the members are:
Tash Clark- God
Jacobie Grove- Goddess
Cole Firkus- King
Tom Beach- Lord
A Question.....It seems to me that guys handle breakups better than girls. How the hell do they manage that? ....... leave a comment thing and let me know. Zeddy-Mc-Win†Zed†
Zed died. It was actually quite unusual. A few days after my relationship ended with the person i named him after; he died. How creepy is that? Its Beeny that Cacus all over again..............its creepishly ironic.
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